What to do in the case of a consent violation or other issue:

...or how to not be/how to report a douchebag:

Tempest Gatherings considers its paramount mission to be the creation of a safe container in which to allow people to enjoy themselves free from harassment of any kind, whether it be related to gender, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance, body size, race, class, inappropriate physical contact, or unwelcome sexual attention. This is our ideal, and one which we feel strongly about. Over many years (more than a dozen of them) of difficult lessons, we have come up with a way of dealing with harassment which we hope helps us to live up to this ideal.

TG is dedicated to creating a welcoming, supportive and fun environment which allows all event attendees to fully participate in all the courses, activities, performances and spaces we have to offer. We believe that it is crucial in creating these opportunities to build an intentional community space free from abuse, harassment and violations of consent. TG expects excellence from all staff and presenters, and requires attendees to act responsibly and follow all posted rules. Everyone in attendance is expected to be accountable for their actions and to take into account the health and comfort of themselves, other attendees and Tempest Gatherings. Any conduct which is misaligned with these principles, or is disruptive of the festival experience of other attendees in any way, may result in punitive action that can include verbal and written warnings, removal from a single event and/or banning from future events.

-First and foremost, our entire rule set can be boiled down to a single phrase: Don’t be a douchebag. All of our rules are there for a reason, and many of them were created to address very specific issues we’ve experienced in the past. So, the first step to not being a douchebag at our events is to read the rules.

-Say you’ve read the rules and you’re just being a good member of the community and some douchebag harasses (or violates the consent of, or is a general douchebag to) you or someone else in front of you. What do you do? I’m glad you asked.

• First, find a staffer and tell them what you witnessed as soon as possible. Be sure you have the offender’s badge name if at all possible and a good physical description of them. Good descriptions include things like, “They had a tattoo of a snake on their left cheek and a really rad t-shirt from the most recent Peter Gabriel/Sting tour.” Bad descriptions include things like, “They had brown-hair and wore glasses.” Dude, that’s like half of everyone. Help us out, here!

• Second, if you aren’t the person who was harassed (or whatever), tell the staffer who was harassed. If at all possible, put the staffer together with that person.

• What happens next?

• The staffer will contact one of the Incident Response Team who will get involved. If you have a preference as to the gender of the person to whom you would like to speak, now is the time to tell the staffer. We will do our best to accommodate your request.

• We will immediately attempt to talk to the person who was harassed and get the best and clearest picture of what happened.

• Then we may talk with the other party, again to get the best and clearest picture of what happened.

• We may go back and forth between the parties, but we will never try to put you together. Instead, we will ask the person who was harassed what they want to have happen next and we’ll do our best to accommodate them. If the reporter wishes us to call law enforcement, we will do so.

  Our policy is that this be the typical process, based on the severity:

• The first time a person is reported as being a douchebag, we may have a talk with them.

• The second time, we’ll ask them to take a break, go back to their housing, chill out, take the rest of the day/evening off.

• The third time, we’ll ask them to leave the event (no refunds) immediately, and we’ll escort them off the site.

If the douchebaggedness is of sufficient gravity, or if the person in question responds with aggression to our intervention, we may choose, at our discretion, to escalate to the later steps more quickly.

If you become aware of bad behavior outside of our events or wish to report after our event is over:

-We do our best to vet our presenters and staff carefully, but we appreciate the community being part of that process. If you are aware of douchebag behavior on the part of these or any members of our community outside of our events or would like to report an issue after the event it happened at is over, we are open to hearing from you.

-Our process regarding this is similar to our at-event process. We may contact all parties involved to try to get a clear picture of what the issue is/was, but if the violation is clearly outside of our event policies, rises to the level of assault (a lower bar than you may be aware--it is wise to know the laws regarding assault in each state), or is supported by other reporters from other incidents, we will simply inform the offender(s) of our decision after we make a determination about danger to our event and community. Steps we may take may include any combination of the following:

• Warning our team to keep an eye on the person.

• Speaking to the person and telling them we’re concerned.

• Declining to bring the person on as a presenter or staffer.

• Telling the person to take a year or two off from our events and asking them to get formally educated about consent.

• Telling the person they are no longer welcome at our events.

• Or other things.

Tempest Gatherings, LLC defines the term “consent” thusly:

Consent is a verbal or written agreement between two or more adult individuals who are not under the influence to engage in a specific type or type(s) of sexual and/or kink activity. Consent may be revoked anytime, even during a scene. Having previously given consent does not mean an individual continues to consent later.

Examples of “positive” consent include:

-Explicitly negotiating with all involved parties by using definitive affirmations, i.e. “Yes, I would like it if you would spank me for half an hour.”

-Specifically delineating what is and what is not permitted, i.e. “I feel comfortable with you hitting me with a paddle, but not any other instrument,” or “I would like to wear this collar no longer than an hour.”

-Informing someone in advance what your positive and negative “physical cues” might look like if you are not in a position to speak, i.e. “If my fists are clenched, I would prefer you slow down and check in with me verbally.”

-Asking before you make any changes to your originally planned scene/sexual activity.

-Informing other participants in advance if you are taking any medications that may impact your physical or cognitive abilities and being willing to make changes as necessary if this makes the other person(s) uncomfortable.

-Not making assumptions about someone else’s gender, body, or abilities, but asking whether X or Y would be okay in advance.

-Agreeing on safewords and safesigns in advance of the play.

Tempest Gatherings defines the term “consent violation” thusly:

Consent violation happens when an individual(s) ignores previously negotiated boundaries and/or agreements. This includes touching, harassing, or performing any sexual or non-sexual activity to someone else without obtaining prior explicit permission.

Examples of consent violations include:

-Touching people or personal property without permission (including hugs).

-Continuing on in a scene or sexual situation after a participant uses a safeword or other verbal or nonverbal (i.e. pulling away, shaking their head, etc.) indication that they would like the scene/sex act to stop or slow down.

-Assuming that because someone has liked/done something similar in the past, they are consenting to it again. Explicit permission must be granted every time!

-Playing or doing sexual acts with someone who is not in a position to consent, i.e. someone who is obviously incapacitated by drugs or alcohol.

-Pressuring or intimidating someone to do something they do not want to do, for any reason.

TG views the term “harassment” as referring to aggressive pressure or intimidation. This can take many different forms and is best addressed in the situation, but we feel it is important to affirm that we take very seriously all reports of harassment, including those which involve members of our community who are parts of under-represented and/or vulnerable populations such as those on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, people of color, people of minority religions, etc.

Of particular concern to us is the potential for power imbalances, both in D/s relationship dynamics and in situations involving the populations mentioned above. We acknowledge that these issues have been happening in the broader kink community, and we are striving to create a space where those imbalances, when abused, are addressed to protect the vulnerable parties involved.

TG shares information regarding issues at other events and in other communities with the leaders of those communities and events and consults with those leaders about our ban list and other policy decisions.

Incidence Response Team

We are working on guidelines for the IRT that will be completed before the first D&G. We will do our best to have the IRT be a diverse group of individuals. Attendees/staff are able to bring their consent issues or concerns to one IRT member who will then discuss with the IRT the best course of action and then brief the Coordination Team on the decision. We hope this process will give attendees/staff the confidence that they have been heard and this will reduce the chances of "letting friends get away with things" that is so often seen in the kink community. If the IRT comes to a unanimous decision and the Coordination Team makes a different choice of action or overrules the IRT, then the IRT has the right to put out a written statement. We hope this will also help with transparency and accountability of everyone, up to and including the Event Coordination Team.

Note: As sister events, we will share No Go lists with Turtle Hill Events. If someone is on a THE Beltane No Go list, they will be on a TG D&G No Go list and so on.

*** Consent policy adopted from Turtle Hill Events.